I read a book entitled Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This was one of the most insightful books I have read so far. The way in which we can transcend conflicts and not taking things personally or blame others is by understand what our needs are and about the needs of others.
Our needs are obscured by emotions and we can feel the full weight and power of our own emotions. Our emotions can become triggered by our perception of our environment. A lot of our perception is unconscious. We don’t think about the way we perceive our environment or challenge any negative perceptions – we just perceive and allow our emotions to become triggered and then play to those emotions as they arise. But there is a key question we need to ask ourselves: What is the need underneath the emotion?
If we focus our communications on understanding those needs in ourselves and others, with empathy and compassion – we will improve our lives. There is no question to this. Not only will be get along better with other people, we will also no longer take things personally no matter how hard others try to attack us.
I walk through an example of ways in which we can separate judgments from the way in which we communicate to others. Understanding how we judge others is one of the crucial first steps in order to achieve clear and compassionate communication.